Winter Blues

Winter is the hardest season to get through . Up in the dark and finishing work in the dark . Limited vitamin D !

Covid doesn’t help . Really need somewhere warm to escape to . Mental health is a daily battle . Those that are dealing with loss understand . You live you breathe, you participate but you are never 100% engaged .

The waves are definitely stronger in the winter months x


Donate Life Week

The below is an extract from an email I received . If you think your local coffee shop will be involved let me know xx

DonateLife Week 2021 is Sunday 25 July to Sunday 1 August.

We are again seeking support from our network and the community to promote DonateLife Week.

If you are part of a club, network, workplace, business, school etc, please get in touch if you have capacity to put up a promotional poster, or promote with merchandise, or get involved in social media.

More info will be posted on the in the coming month.

This year in particular, if you are connected to a café, we’d like to engage with you to provide coffee cup stickers and posters during the week, or if you know your local coffee shop or barista might be interested, connect them to us and we can see what might work

All you need to do is display a poster and stick stickers on the lids of your coffee cups for the week.

To get involved,  by Tuesday, 1 June with a key contact and number, how many takeaway coffees you serve in a week and where to send the stickers.

We know you are still with us xx

Frequently something happens that reminds us that you are still looking after us but last night something happened that made us all smile xx

Caleb recently brought his own home . I was contacted by one of Shelbs friends who recognised the bedroom ( I posted this photo of Caleb and I putting his bed together)

This home was Shelbis friend’s grandmothers home . Shelb danced with her when they were younger and it turns out that Shelb had actually been to the home and played in the spare room and yard .

We all felt that this home was “the one “ when we looked through it . We all got a “sign” at the time . For me it was the chandelier light cover ( the same type that was in Calebs room when we moved to our new home ) For Laurie it was Lilly’s in the yard . But this news cemented for all of us that it was the right first home for Caleb .

When his nieces and younger cousins stay they will sleep where Shelb has played / how nice is that !

It should also be noted that the home we brought was owned by Shelbs childhood friends Aunty. Coincidence ? Maybe – but I like to think it’s our girl still watching out for us xx


Well my darling your cousin finally married the love of her life on the weekend. It was a fabulous day . For Katie and I we filled the shoes of yourself and her Mum . Roles that we wanted you both there for xx . I’m sure Lee is looking after you as I will always look after Katie

It’s been a while since I wrote a post . I have been so very busy living my best life. Working in this new Covid world . You are constantly on my mind . I find routine is the absolute key to me surviving . Being busy and having an active mind allows less time for over thinking , “overwishing” and just missing you so much that I wonder if I will actually be able to exhale and inhale again xx

I will keep going for you and Isaack . I will continue to grow the Go Casual for Shelbi cause . I will also continue to speak about you like it was yesterday I last saw you because it feels like it was yesterday xx

2 years

I’ve been trying to think of the right words but really there are no right words .

Unless You walk in our shoes ; and I seriously hope you never have to , you won’t know how you will deal with the grief .

I’m constantly told I’m strong , brave and sometimes an inspiration. I don’t feel any of these . I feel defeated , 1/2 empty and lonely most of the time . Don’t misunderstand Laurie is my rock and the family and my friends (and the kids friends) are always there for me but there are voids that can never be filled only “replaced” or “back filled” if that makes sense. Xx

I could stay in bed and reject the world . I can’t fix this and I always fix things ! I could cry scream and throw things but that wouldn’t help.

I chose to get up and fill my days with activities Shelb loved . It was the best decision for me to have our Grandkids for the week . I am thankful Caleb has been able to spend it with me and yesterday spending the day on the beach with Ben and the Ninch family was wonderful

Yes it’s hard . Yes I wish for nothing more than to hear Shelb yell “Caleb” because he has splashed her or to see Isaack get dunked from the Kayak by Ben but I feel them in spirit down here and I know they had good times on the beach and around the fire so I refuse to tarnish the memories with tears xx

Two years tomorrow since I kissed you but we spoke yesterday and everyday . I hear you in my mind and because we were so close nothing will ever change that xx

It’s another beautiful day at White Beach . Time to get up and take the fur baby for a walk xx

Thankyou to all of you for your constant love and support.

2 years still seems like yesterday

Ben and I were talking about both of you yesterday afternoon. Your last morning with us was filled with adventure . A fishing trip and one of the biggest catches Ben had had in a while .

Shelb you caught a shark – our last Photo of you xx and Isaack you were learning how to get the flatheads of the hook without getting a spike in your hand.

You could of still been tucked up in bed at 6:30 but you were up and off fishing . Living life xx I’m so please your last morning with us was filled with adventure and laughs xx