I attended 3 funerals this week .

Three much loved souls .

All three celebrations were unique, the families honouring their loved ones in the way they knew the soul would have wanted.

At each of these funerals I found myself feeling parts of Shelbis celebration at one it was the mention of “particals and waves” a beautiful poem written by the mans son . When I have spoken to him And have his permission I will share it .

At another there was a poem that captured many aspects of our own feelings about our loss ( it’s attached )

And the last was as much about the love everyone had for the man as it was the love his daughter one of my dearest friends had for my daughter . I won’t share our conversations they are private but I needed to acknowledged that whilst she would tell me how brave I have been she needs to know she is equally brave .

It has been an emotional week for all concerned and I am hoping we have well and truly had our share of these services for a while !

Shelb was with me at each celebration. Whilst I don’t know if it was a sign at the bbq last night one of the guests had a hat just like hers on . (So I’m counting it as one 🙂 )

Noticed another state is hosting a fund raiser for donate life . It got me thinking about what we could do as a family / community .

I think next year we might have a paddle -a-thon at White Beach .

Can’t think of anything that would suit her better xx

I’m not wishing my years away just wanting to be in the position to retire and move to the Shack .

It would mean leaving Shelbs room behind but in all honesty we feel her at the shack just as much as we do in her room because she loved it .

She loved playing all manner of games in the bbq area . She loved kayaking around the islands with her friends . She loved sitting in front of the fire when everyone else went to be making plans for their future with Isaack xx

I could quite easily live down here and be know as a mix of crazy old dog/kookaburra lady .

https://donatelife.gov.au/register-donor-today

Today a few of us had our own moment .

For Laurie and I it was watching Caleb and Sam each have their turn ins the Squeaky B knowing how much you would of loved it xx

For Samantha it was when she got stranded in the middle of the bay knowing that if you had still been here you would of been out there with her and been laughing about it xx

I love that you loved this place because I don’t need to be near your bedroom to feel your presence . I don’t on truth even need your spirit bird (kookaburra) to show up . You loved it here and I will always feel you and hear your laughter. I will be honest and admit I still hear you saying “caleb ! Or Isaack !!” When Im sitting in bbq area of a night as I still remember the card games and the stirring and cheating xx

Miss you kiddo xx

Second week down . I survived ,had a few waves or over inflated ball moments but generally I was okay.

Heard back from Apple – they have approved the release of Shelbis ICloud to me.

Kicked a few goals in regards to my project Donatelife. I introduced a few key people who will be able to help spread the word increase awareness and hopefully increase the number of Donors per “tragedy”. I say Donor per tragedy as whilst we will “Hi Five” on one side we will be acknowledging that it also means a family had lost a loved one .

https://donatelife.gov.au/

Yesterday I was asked to do something that prior to Shelbis death was part of my day to day working life .

Yesterday I felt sick nervous and anxious before I pulled on the big girl pants and did it .

I have the love and support of my workmates and they would never intentionally place me in the position we are in but it was required because of extreme circumstances so I did what I needed to do . It was very hard.

I find myself dealing with not only the emotional grief but also it seems a shattered confidence in a role I have had for over 28 yrs .

I’m sure in time it will get better but I truly feel for anyone that doesn’t have the love and support I have in a workplace .

Forgive my lack of technical skills . I have shared this on FB but it hasn’t posted the entire story so I have resorted to screen shots.

My Ball is a little different . Somedays it barely fits in the box and it feels like it is constantly nudging the button . Other days I manage to deflate it . I have to keep an eye on it constantly though as it has the ability to fill itself quickly !!

Did you know eye tissue donation allow the cornea and the sclera (the white part that surrounds the eye) to be transplanted?

Corneal transplants restore sight to people who are partially or completely blind due to corneal damage.

Read John’s story to understand why the gift of sight is so important

https://donatelife.gov.au/book-of-life/corneal-transplants-gift-sight

Taken from the Donate Life page

The biggest driver for me was that I wanted Shelbi to see the world . Making the decision to donate gave us a way to make this happen

People keep saying I’m strong or brave and that they are proud or wish they were more like me .

I constantly feel sick in the stomach and my smile is often a mask for how I really feel .

I keep battling on because I know there’s a certain redhead watching me and worrying when I look sad and smiling when I’m just getting on with it and do the best I can to enjoy a laugh or have fun . So get in with it I do !

Lunch date today with Breanna plans to make our family members who gave life when they had to leave us . We will keep each other strong and we will make sure our message about organ donation is heard and understood.

As always it’s a choice . I won’t try convince anyone to do it but if you have been considering it take the time (5 minutes tops) to register .

We would like everyone to meet our latest addition to the family . The “squeaky b “. 😉 There’s a story there that a few know and I will share it with anyone who is interested .

We have a boat at the shack but have wanted something like this for a while to just putt around in .

I have to thank my work mates for this as it was purchased using funds they collected for the family when tragedy struck us . I have decided to use it for this and we are getting Captain Jack to draw us a portrait our 5 kids as well .